lousy

Went gym just now. Started off lousy. With a argument, well is more to a "lousy" feeling or maybe a ype of feeling I do not wish to share it here. Anyway, I hate it.

Derrick joined jacky and I at gym tonight.

Well, now not feeling too well. I know is I should be sleeping, but these few days I can't sleep. I want to rest and sleep peacefully, just can't. Hate it!

Can't we just chillout even in Sinagapore? Of cos I want to go for a trip, for me a trip not only chillout with you... I wish I can do some stuff which I like too. Cos' I am spending this amount of money... I want to get stuff too... Well maybe you don't understand how and what I felt at that monment. I really hate it when you, or even others don't understand me. I am not saying everything I do or we do have to be always about "me being happy", is just not what you guys see. I just dislike what I am going thur now. In fact I hate it so much I do not know how to put this to the end!

I don't want to be alone here! I always say you can go... say is easy. Deep in my heart...

Well, people around us are really really shallow. I know but sometime they are so surface till I myself cannot "take it". For me I still need some of them, maybe in business or friendship point of veiw. Well some people just want to check you out, "what you been doing this month? What you doing? Or What you up to...?" For me, I know you just want to compare and just want to know how good or how bad I done... or maybe you don;t even want me to do BETTER THAN YOU. Well you know who you are right? Well why should I be bother by you? I have my way. Well sometime or infact J is right, just don't care. I am learning.

Today, just does not seem too well. Don't really know why. Ya, 27 June is my late dad's birthday.

Now listening to CAFE SOLO. Nice but seem a bit "empty". I don't like to be alone. Well I do, my mind will run around... flash back... usually to things I want to "finish" and never able to do it. People I don't like, who I always want them to tatse their medince and I think they will never. I am so revangeful. I was never so, untill you been thur what I been thur and you will not be saying that. Of cos' KILL BILL is my fav movie till now. Only one person in my list had dump by her husband, but she is happier now! So what if you have a BIG MOUTH. YOu are a rich bitch now. hahaha Life's unfair ya.

I think I need to be greatful, I still have my love ones...